Avoidance or empowerment?

When is being a recluse a bad thing? When you decide not to date because you're tired of being hurt, you're convinced that no one knows how to be faithful any more, or that you'll just be left alone again so why bother, you're choosing solitude out of fear, and that's not healthy. When the isolation is involuntary, as seems to happen most frequently with housebound elders, it's tragic. If, when you're alone in the car or your home, you tend to fill the silence with television, music or podcasts, then solitude might not be a good choice. Or when you feel alone rather than cozy, then solitude is simply not right for you, at least not at this stage in your life.

Solitude is empowering when you want to focus within for spiritual, religious or creative reasons, or if you're ready to embark on a profound reorientation in your life, such as when, after a difficult divorce, you set aside time to rediscover who you are, who you've become, and then go on to build new goals and a new life from that knowledge.

Solitude as a sacred path isn't for the faint of heart and truly isn't the best choice for everyone. But you'll know it's the right path for you if you long for solitude and silence like a thirsty man lost in the desert and, when you get it, your entire being breathes a profound sigh of relief. When solitude is a healing choice, when and if the moment comes to re-engage with society, that calling is as powerful and welcome as was the original summons to solitude.