Falling off a bike

Mistakes (mis-take (translation: take one, take two, take three - we no longer need the experience when the lesson has been learned)) can actually build confidence, because when you rise after a fall, which you inevitably will, you have greater faith in yourself. You brush yourself and think, “Hey, that wasn’t so bad, what was I so frightened of?” You might feel a sense of delight and victory at having faced your fears and come out the other side, whether you succeeded in your initial aim or not. Sometimes the experience itself, and what you learn from it, is the real win.

If you were so scared of falling off a bike that you never got on one, you’d never learn how to ride. You’d also carry a sense of failure and regret at not attempting, and a loss at missing out in the joys of the experience. Scrapes in life can be part of your journey of growth. They can also help polish you and unleash inner strengths and gifts you did not even know were there!

When you learn to deal with stressful, uncomfortable or challenging life circumstances, and realize there can also often be a gift inherent within them – perhaps a needed change, a healing opportunity, letting go, a growth experience, or greater insight into existing beliefs, patterns, strengths and weaknesses – you grow in confidence.

Shying away from challenges doesn’t make them disappear, and avoiding your fears only shrinks your confidence, rather than expands it.

LOVE AND LIGHT

Your worth lies not in what you do, or in who you know, but in who you are…. and who you truly are is AMAZING!

You are a being of love and light, however far you ever feel from that at any time. This is the truth of who you are! Awakening and remembering the love that you are has the power to transform your life on all levels, and will grant a new-found confidence unlike any other.

What beliefs are standing in the way of experiencing your true loving, happy, bright nature?

What types of negative comments do you hear yourself say about yourself, or feelings do you experience about yourself?

Some of these may come out of past deeds and traits you have not forgiven yourself for, which is why self-forgiveness is a valuable part of a journey to confidence. It will help you release more of any guilt, shame, or self-condemnation, which will only work against you and shroud the sunny rays of confidence.

Setting Goals

In his early years and near poverty, actor Jim Carrey wrote a note on a peice of paper, stuck it his shirt pocket, and kept it there until he no longer needed it.

The note read, "Make a million dollars."

From stories like Jim carrey's, we assume that setting goals is the first step to achieving them. We assume Jim Carrey made a million dollars because he set it as a goal and wrote it down. It's a rare self-improvement book, we suspect, that does not stress, "Set goals."

But we misunderstand goal-setting.

First, you have set goals even if you've never written them down. You want to watch what you eat, run three miles with less effort, get closer to your father. You rarely think about these "goals." But at one time, those thoughts crossed your mind, and you devoted yourself to them. You set goals and few human beings do not.

But the value of goal-setting does not come just from the goals. It comes from the thinking that went into the planning, and the knowledge that comes out. Set goals with others and you learn. You learn what others value, and that helps you make better and more informed decisions every day.

In business, the same regularly proves itself. The value of a business plan rarely comes from the goals and strategies. Those goals and strategies change so early and often that most business plans are better viewed as, "What do we plan to do until we change our minds?" That we ignore these plans does not matter. What matters is what happened as you made the plan.

EVERYONE LEARNED.

SET GOALS NOT BECAUSE THEY WILL HELP YOU REACH THEM, BUT BECAUSE THEY WILL TEACH YOU.

Change Your Vibrations, Change Your Life

We all have something we need to let go or get over in our lives.

For most of us, it’s difficult to lose people we care about due to fights or fall-outs. Even when people just get weeded out during natural progression, it isn’t easy on us. Thus, a good portion of us actively hold on to people that no longer serve our higher purpose, but who actually hinder our progress. The worst thing for most human beings is rejection and/or loneliness, which translates into some of us jumping through hoops, tip-toeing around certain individuals, or simply denying our very own nature. And when we do these things, sooner or later we start feeling resentful.

Not all relationships and friendships should be salvaged, because not all of them are equally important. But no matter what happened, I would always ask anyone to still accept their part in any type of “bad” parting. If you behaved in ways that were hurtful, mean or out of line, you must own up to it and apologize. Why? Because this is what grown up and healthy people do! We own our part in things and we behave with integrity, honesty and decency! Just be prepared that most people do not like confrontation and therefore prefer the passive aggressive or behind-the-back approach. This is fine, too, as long as you can at least look at yourself in the mirror, knowing that you did the right thing.

I know that it hurts to let go, but know that holding on can sometimes be more detrimental and painful than cutting the cord and walking away. So here are three things to consider when finally saying “good riddance!”

1. Values

Know what they are and stick to them! If you attempt to foster relationships with people who do not have the same values, things will go sour eventually. The good old saying “opposites attract” does not apply here at all. For example, if you value loyalty and the other one doesn’t/won’t, things will go really sour when they keep letting you down and disrespecting you.

2. Love, Empathy and Kindness

I know it should be a no-brainer, but why hang on to people who are unkind and can’t be loving towards you? We are all imperfect; we have our struggles, ups and downs and our strengths and weaknesses. Who needs people who are too self-absorbed to love anyone else and have no ability to relate to another? In order to be kind, one has to have empathy, and in order to love, one has to have the ability to relate to another and share with them. Insight into others also allows you to see how another wants to be loved! Not all of us recognize love in the same ways. While some require a lot of reassurance, others may need someone who helps them with the daily chores.

3. Self-Awareness

Someone who is absolutely clueless regarding who they are and how they come across or affect others will have absolutely no clue how to treat another; or how to be a friend, partner or lover. When someone is stuck deeply in denial about their own life, how “tuned in” do you think they will be with you? If they are not open to any criticism, how do you think they will help you grow? You’ve guessed it, by not saying a thing and looking the other way. Worst case scenario, they will say something, but not to your face. Either way, this is not a growth inspiring situation. To love and care for anther includes the ability to be open and honest with each other!

My advice is not for the faint of heart, nor for those who want to lead a miserable, or mediocre life. My advice is for those who want extraordinary lives; for those who want to be wide awake and live life to the fullest; for those who want to learn to thrive versus merely cope. There is so much to be gained when we live our lives courageously, and when we won’t take “no” for an answer. The shift that spreads across all parts of our existence can only occur when we are the catalyst. All change starts within, not without!

So if you find yourself hurt, angry, disappointed or upset over losing someone who isn’t worth the emotions or tears you invested, just know that there is no empty space in the universe; and generally, when one door closes, another one opens. Life goes on and when we change our own vibrations, we will attract those who are more in-tune with us and probably more worth-while. For those who closed the door on you, just tell yourself “good riddance!” and move on. This is the only life you have, make the best of it!

This Friday: New Moon Magic!

BY FERN FETO SPRING FEBRUARY 24, 2011 08:21 PM EST

March brings us a new Moon in Pisces, the mystical water sign of dreams and intuition. As the last sign of the zodiac, Pisces encourages us to rest and retreat before starting a new cycle. With this new Moon, we have a chance to envision our future before it happens, influencing our reality with our hopes and dreams. Maximize the power of this new Moon by setting intentions around love, work, money and more. Intentions focus our awareness and help us to get clear on what we really want out of life. The more we can get to the heart of our goals, the greater our chance for fulfillment.

The element (Air, Fire, Water, Earth) of your Sun sign can help you to enhance the energy of your intentions and give you ideas about what form they should take. Try to work with your intentions as close to the actual time of the new Moon as possible (March 4, 2011 at 12:46pm PST/3:46pm EST).

Air (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius)
You will reap the most benefit from this new Moon if you find a way to communicate your intentions. The element of Air thrives on words, the mind and conversation. Write a list of your hopes and dreams and put it in a special place, or read aloud to yourself in the mirror, or share with a friend. The more energy you build around your spoken and written intentions, the greater power they will have at the new Moon.

Fire (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius)
Action is how you connect to your inner power, so turn your new Moon intention into a form of creative self-expression. Turn up the music and dance your intention, focus on it while you workout, turn it into an art piece, etc. As long as you bring movement and energy to the intentions you hold, they will have a greater momentum.

Water (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces)
You are already innately in harmony with this new Moon, since it falls in the Water sign of Pisces. Water signs have the power to feel and imagine, so use this to your advantage wisely. Set aside some time to daydream and let your mind drift, allowing your intention to emerge from your deepest self. Music, nature and time spent near the water will help to inspire you even more, so try and integrate these elements into your life now as much as possible.

Earth (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn)
As the doers of the zodiac, you’ll feel the most comfortable setting your intentions in a practical way. Incorporate your new Moon dreams into your daily chores for a truly earthy magical moment. While you cook or clean, meditate on what you are hoping to manifest at this new Moon cycle. Though you may feel a little silly at first, infusing your mundane life with a little fairy dust will help you to stay inspired and alive.

Lessons from a butterfly

Lessons from a butterfly: embrace change and don't be shy!

“Change alone is eternal, perpetual, immortal.” ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

The wheel of life turns, and for a good reason, whether you know it at the time or not.

Change can always be an opening for opportunity, growth, and a better life. Trust in life's turning seasons and be open to F L O W. The universe is always on your side.

When I talk about change here, I'm not referring to erratic, inconsistent behavior or an excuse for a lack of responsibility or commitment, but about being open, flexible and fluid, and letting your life breathe, move and DANCE to allow for growth and expansion, letting go of what does not serve you, and allowing more gifts to come in.

And of course you can be proactive with change owning and harnessing the power of your choice. What changes could you make right now to better your life?

Sometimes change begins with holding a new vision, or a new attitude, or way of thinking, and with taking small steps. As I always say…

Baby steps lead to monumental change!

What changes would instantly brighten your life? Would it be more time for rest and relaxation, or more time for fun and socializing, or ceasing certain habits (physical, mental or emotional), a change in your routine, more time in nature, more time with people, or more time alone? Is a change in job, home or relationships calling you?

And what needs to change on the inside to help with these changes? Who do you need to forgive? Yourself? Another? What thoughts, feelings,beliefs and attitudes could you change that would create a better life?

Spontaneity in itself can help to lighten your life, and initiate greater flow, rather than you're a continued set or controlled way of doing things. If you're too rigid or confined with plans and expectations and how things ‘should be', it's hard for the new and unexpected to come in, or blessings and synchronicities to arrive.

We often fear change, partly because we fear the unknown and unfamiliar, or sometimes out of loyalty to people in our past, and often because we think with change will come some kind of loss.

The next truth on letting go deals with this aspect, exploring how all endings herald a new birth! :)

Sometimes we fear change because we fear greater responsibility, stepping into our power, being humiliated, rejected, being visible, or any other number of reasons.

Sometimes change is scary because it involves the breakdown of something existing in our life.

Trust in the flow. Sun follows rain like day follows night.
What may seem to be going wrong may, in fact, be going right!

Trust in yourself and your power as a creator. And trust in the universe; it only ever wants the best for you.

Sometimes the road of change is rocky, tumultuous even, which is why we may fear or resist it, yet it can still be for our best.

“All great changes are preceded by chaos .” ~ Deepak Chopra

What we resist becomes more painful. What we embrace through acceptance, with the light of hope and the wings of faith, can become joyful.

Bend like the willow in the breeze and life will flow with greater ease!

If you don't embrace change, it can become more and more painful staying where you are. If you don't listen to the whispers they become shouts. Patterns repeat until you heal and change.

Sometimes life gives you a shake you up to help you WAKE UP!

All change can be opportunity! :)

Take on RESPONSIBILITY and it is sure to bring SUCCESS

Responsibility brings freedom and empowerment. The more you take responsibility for your life, the better able you are to change it. You create or allow all experience, whether you are conscious of it or not. As James Allen so neatly puts it, "Circumstance does not make a man, it reveals him to himself".

Become aware of the thoughts, feelings, beliefs and attitudes that are creating your world. Take responsibility for them and choose those that serve you and your world. Get exciting about the future, own your power and get manifesting. You can move from victim to victor, from blame to gain, from fear or failure, to triumph and success!